Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Sober Brewer Tips His Glass to Sam Adams

It was recently announced that some Sam Adams bottles from its Cincinnati brewery may contain small bits of glass. In light of this development we have learned that Sam Adams has kicked off a new ad campaign featuring former Philadelphia Eagles all-pro linebacker and current actor, Tim Rossovich to be their spokesman. Rossovich was not only known for his fearless play on the football field and his cameos in Knight Rider and the A-Team, but he is also infamous for pulling crazy stunts. Rossovich liked to show the public how tough he was by eating beer mugs and and light bulbs. When asked for comment by the Sober Brewer, Sam Adams replied, "It was a perfect fit for our new product line, if we can show through Tim that ingesting glass is cool and hip, then possibly we can turn our gross incompetence into a net positive. It worked for Anna Nicole Smith...well, before she died." The Sober Brewer was not able to contact Rossovich directly and his agent declined to comment on the Sam Adams partnership, but did say, "Did you know that Mr. Rossovich was Tom Selleck's roommate, and they're still really close, I mean they talk like, every other day...isn't that cool?" He also added that Tim Rossovich was the most noteworthy celebrity attending derby this year.

This was disappointing news to us here at Bluegrass Brewing Co. We were in the process of developing a mug of fiberglass insulation soaked with beer. The purpose of which was to keep the beer cold for longer periods of time. But now that Sam Adams has beaten us to the punch, we are abandoning the program so as not to appear as copycats.

never trust The Sober Brewer
Jerry Gnagy