Thursday, November 13, 2008

Newsflash: The World Has Officially Passed Me By and Landed in the Toilet

Rejoice everyone, it has come to my attention that someone actually reads this crappy blog and has been jonesin' for an update. So I'm going to start it back off with a real kick ass post. Let's talk about the latest and greatest trend brought to us from the always imaginative youth of America...Anal Beer Bongs!

Here is the report from the TV show "The Doctors"

That's right, drinking beer or liquor orally, you know...through your mouth, has apparently become as "old fashioned" as beehive hairdos and wearing you pants up around you waist. From what I can gather the kids are getting drunk faster by these anal colonics, and it's not just prevalent among KU fans, it is a trend sweeping the country.

Now you might think that I would come up with some sort of "new beer" we are going to brew specifically for anal consumption. Perhaps naming it, "Colonale", "Buttweiser" or even "Rectum...damn beer killed um." But I'm not sure this is a laughing matter.

Please, youth of America, if as the great sage Whitney Houston said, "The children are our future," don't stick beer up your butt. Someday you will be old and probably regret having to wear diapers or empty your colostomy bags. Meanwhile, we'll continue to brew beer specifically for drinking...orally.

never trust The Sober Brewer
Jerry Gnagy